Monday, 23 April 2012
A Slum called Hollywood
Thursday, 13 October 2011
A delightful short story I read way back in class 10!
A Day's Wait
He came into the room to shut the windows while we were still in bed and I saw he looked ill. He was shivering, his face was white, and he walked slowly as though it ached to move.
"What's the matter, Schatz?"
"I've got a headache."
"You better go back to bed."
"No. I'm all right."
"You go to bed. I'll see you when I'm dressed."
But when I came downstairs he was dressed, sitting by the fire, looking a very sick and miserable boy of nine years. When I put my hand on his forehead I knew he had a fever.
"You go up to bed," I said, "you're sick."
"I'm all right," he said.
When the doctor came he took the boy's temperature.
"What is it?" I asked him.
"One hundred and two."
Downstairs, the doctor left three different medicines in different colored capsules with instructions for giving them. One was to bring down the fever, another a purgative, the third to overcome an acid condition. The germs of influenza can only exist in an acid condition, he explained. He seemed to know all about influenza and said there was nothing to worry about if the fever did not go above one hundred and four degrees. This was a light epidemic of flu and there was no danger if you avoided pneumonia.
Back in the room I wrote the boy's temperature down and made a note of the time to give the various capsules.
"Do you want me to read to you?"
"All right. If you want to," said the boy. His face was very white and there were dark areas under his eyes. He lay still in the bed and seemed very detached from what was going on.
I read aloud from Howard Pyle's Book of Pirates; but I could see he was not following what I was reading.
"How do you feel, Schatz?" I asked him.
"Just the same, so far," he said.
I sat at the foot of the bed and read to myself while I waited for it to be time to give another capsule. It would have been natural for him to go to sleep, but when I looked up he was looking at the foot of the bed, looking very strangely.
"Why don't you try to go to sleep? I'll wake you up for the medicine."
"I'd rather stay awake."
After a while he said to me, "You don't have to stay in here with me, Papa, if it bothers you."
"It doesn't bother me."
"No, I mean you don't have to stay if it's going to bother you."
I thought perhaps he was a little lightheaded and after giving him the prescribed capsules at eleven o'clock I went out for a while.
It was a bright, cold day, the ground covered with a sleet that had frozen so that it seemed as if all the bare trees, the bushes, the cut brush and all the grass and the bare ground had been varnished with ice. I took the young Irish setter for a little walk up the road and along a frozen creek, but it was difficult to stand or walk on the glassy surface and the red dog slipped and slithered and I fell twice, hard, once dropping my gun and having it slide away over the ice.
We flushed a covey of quail under a high clay bank with overhanging brush and I killed two as they went out of sight over the top of the bank. Some of the covey lit in trees, but most of them scattered into brush piles and it was necessary to jump on the ice-coated mounds of brush several times before they would flush. Coming out while you were poised unsteadily on the icy, springy brush they made difficult shooting and I killed two, missed five, and started back pleased to have found a covey close to the house and happy there were so many left to find on another day.
At the house they said the boy had refused to let any one come into the room.
"You can't come in," he said. "You mustn't get what I have."
I went up to him and found him in exactly the position I had left him, white-faced, but with the tops of his cheeks flushed by the fever, staring still, as he had stared, at the foot of the bed.
I took his temperature.
"What is it?"
"Something like a hundred," I said. It was one hundred and two and four tenths.
"It was a hundred and two," he said.
"Who said so?"
"The doctor."
"Your temperature is all right," I said. "It's nothing to worry about."
"I don't worry," he said, "but I can't keep from thinking."
"Don't think," I said. "Just take it easy."
"I'm taking it easy," he said and looked straightahead. He was evidently holding tight onto himself about something.
"Take this with water."
"Do you think it will do any good?"
"Of course it will."
I sat down and opened the Pirate book and commenced to read, but I could see he was not following, so I stopped.
"About what time do you think I'm going to die?" he asked.
"What?"
"About how long will it be before I die?"
"You aren't going to die. What's the matter with you?"
"Oh, yes, I am. I heard him say a hundred and two."
"People don't die with a fever of one hundred and two. That's a silly way to talk."
"I know they do. At school in France the boys told me you can't live with forty-four degrees. I've got a hundred and two."
He had been waiting to die all day, ever since nine o'clock in the morning.
"You poor Schatz," I said. "Poor old Schatz. It's like miles and kilometres. You aren't going to die. That's a different thermometer. On that thermometer thirty-seven is normal. On this kind it's ninety-eight."
"Are you sure?"
"Absolutely," I said. "It's like miles and kilometers. You know, like how many kilometers we make when we do seventy miles in the car?"
"Oh," he said.
But his gaze at the foot of the bed relaxed slowly. The hold over himself relaxed too, finally, and the next day it was very slack and he cried very easily at little things that were of no importance.
Wednesday, 28 September 2011
The good Bad and the bad Good
Date: 24th August 2011
Medium: Acrylic colors on A3 canvas
It is a bright summer afternoon. Yellow is dancing with the orange – the two flow across while playing with the rough texture of the canvas. Sunrays expose the excitement of the green foliage, which is now spreading its fragrance on the canvas. I close my eyes trying to fathom the contents of the fragrance – flowers, foliage, sea, breeze… Life is so good – no constraints, no chains, no bad. Ironic it is! Good thoughts give rise to the excitement of the absence of the bad, which in turn reinforces the belief in the presence of the bad… The bright day will inevitably decay into the dark night. Soon the light blue bright summer sky melted into the starry dark blue and the all absorbing black. The blue and black now violently struggle on the limited space of the canvas. But why am I afraid of the dark? Is Bad so bad? The turmoil on the canvas decrease…
I look around to understand what good is Good for. Let’s do an experiment! I search for the most lively and beautiful thing around. There it is – a bright red hibiscus! I plead the canvas to answer my dilemma. Delicately the flower is absorbed by the canvas. As I wait patiently to see what happens to the lively flower when it is swallowed by the Bad and the Good, my confusion starts heightening. Five minutes.Ten.Twleve. Sixteen. At twenty, the canvas shocks me. The stem of the flower starts growing form the Bad, the black. It is burning to live. Its celestial light glows incessantly. I could hear it breathing, living, and surviving in the dark. It loves the challenge, lights the dark and leaves the world awe-struck. As it grows into the light of the Good, the stem lazily bends down. The flower growing on it is sluggish, tired and bent in the nothing-to-do world. Life is too easy to be challenging in the Good to be good. Is the Good really good and Bad really bad? I take a deep breath, almost thanking the canvas to sensitize me to the possibility of the absence of absolutes – the good Good and the bad Bad. If there is no good Good… the Bad is good and Good is bad, what is Good at all? I contain the question in myself, what’s the fun in easy solvable questions if they can be solved!
As I walk back Dillard’s words resonate in my mind. “She burnt for two hours without changing, without bending or leaning – only glowing within, like a building fire glimpsed through silhouetted walls, like a hollow saint, like a flame faced virgin gone to God, while I read in her light, kindled, while Rimbaud in Paris burnt out his brains in a thousand poems, while night pooled wetly at my feet.”[1]
Saturday, 17 September 2011
THE CONFUSED METAPHOR IN THE MAKING
Friday, 16 September 2011
Neipayasam / Sweet Milk
A man, returning home at night from a simple cremation, having thanked everyone. We could simply call him Achhan. Because only three children in the city know his value. They call him Achha.
Sitting in the bus among strangers, he went over every second of that day.
Woke up in the morning to her voice. "Unniye, don’t go on sleeping covered up like that. It’s Monday." She was calling the eldest son. She then moved to the kitchen, her white sari crumpled. Brought me a big glass of coffee. Then? What happened then? Did she say anything that should not be forgotten? However much he tried, he could not remember. "Don’t go on sleeping covered up like that. It’s Monday." Only that line lingered. He chanted it to himself, as if it was a prayer. If he forgot it, the loss would be unbearable.
The children had been with him when he left for work in the morning. She brought them their tiffin in small aluminium boxes. A smear of turmeric on her right hand.
At work, he did not think of her at all. They had married, against the wishes of their parents, after a courtship of a year or two. But they never did regret it. Lack of money, the children’s spells of illness — they were often dejected. She became careless of her appearance. To an extent, he lost the ability to laugh.
Still, they loved each other. Their three children also loved them. They were boys. Unni, 10, Balan, 7, and Rajan, 5. Three boys whose faces were always smeared with dirt, who had neither outstanding beauty nor brilliance. But the mother and the father said to each other —
"Unni is always making things. He has a taste for engineering."
"We should make Balan a doctor. See his forehead: such a wide forehead denotes intelligence."
"Rajan is not afraid of the dark. He is smart. He should join the army."
They lived in a narrow street in the city, in a middle-class neighbourhood. A three-room flat on the first floor, with a veranda just wide enough for two people to stand in. Mother grows a panineer plant in a pot. It has not flowered yet.
In the kitchen, brass spatulas and ladles hang from the hooks on the wall. A wooden plank lies near the stove. Mother usually sits there, making chapatis when Father returns from work.
He got off when the bus stopped. He felt a twinge of pain in the knee. The beginning of arthritis? Who will look after the children if I am bedridden? Suddenly, his tears welled up. He rubbed his face with a dirty kerchief and quickened his step.
Have the children gone to sleep? Had they eaten anything, or had they just cried themselves to sleep? But they are too young to understand. Unni just stood there watching me when I put her in the taxi. Only the youngest one cried. But that was because he wanted to get into the taxi too. Certainly, they did not know the meaning of death.
Did I know? No. Did I ever imagine that she would suddenly fall down one evening and die, without saying farewell to anyone?
He had looked in through the kitchen window when he came back from work. She was not there.
He could hear the sound of children playing in the front yard. "First-class shot." It was Unni calling out.
He opened the front door with his key. It was then that he saw her. She was lying on the floor. Her lips were parted. She must have slipped, he thought. But at the hospital the doctor told him: "She died an hour and a half ago. It was heart failure."
He was swept by a welter of emotions. He was angry with her for no reason. How could she go, without any warning, burdening me with all the responsibilities!
Now who would bathe the children? Who would cook for them? Who would look after them when they fell ill?
"My wife died," he whispered to himself, "my wife died suddenly today of a heart attack. I need two days’ leave."
A great leave application. Leave, not because the wife is ill. Leave, because the wife is dead. The boss might call him to his room. He might express his sorrow. His sorrow! Who wants it? He didn’t know her. He didn’t know her hair that curled at the ends, her tired smile, her slow step. All these are his losses.
When he opened the door his youngest son came running up. "Mother isn’t back yet," he said.
How quickly he has forgotten! Did he really think that the body that was taken away in the taxi would come back alone?
He took him to the kitchen.
"Unni," he called.
"What is it, Achha?"
Unni came into the kitchen.
"Balan is sleeping."
"All right. Have you all eaten anything?"
"No."
He removed the plates covering the vessels kept on the sill. Chapatis, rice, potato curry, chips, curds — the food she had made. In a glass bowl, the neipayasam that she sometimes made for the children.
No, they should not eat this food. It is touched by death.
"These have gone cold. I’ll make some uppumavu," he said.
"Achha..." it was Unni.
"Um?"
"When will Mother come back? Isn’t she better?"
Let the truth wait for another day, he thought. There was no point in giving grief to the child tonight.
"Mother will come," he said.
He placed the washed bowls on the floor. Two bowls.
"Let Balan sleep," he said.
"Achha, neipayasam," Rajan exclaimed happily. He dipped a finger in it.
He sat down on the wooden plank where his wife usually sat.
"Unni, will you serve? Achhan does not feel too good. Headache."
Let them eat. They would never again be able to eat their mother’s cooking.
They started eating the payasam. He sat motionless, watching them.
"Don’t you want rice, Unni?"
"No, we want only payasam. It’s very tasty."
"Yes, Mother has made splendid neipayasam," Rajan said happily.
He got up and walked quickly towards the bathroom.
Thursday, 8 September 2011
My Wage
Tuesday, 30 August 2011
Theyyam- The Divine Concept

Read more..
Saturday, 27 August 2011
A story- 'Put aside our old baggage'

Wednesday, 24 August 2011
Down The Memory Lane - The Times of DD






"And Doordarshan", I said, and we laughed happily ever after…hahahahaha.



















